Navigating Past Excuses

I don’t have time in the morning to get to the scanning. Amy has more time to do that anyway. It’s hard to predict every day. Don’t you want me to go to the doctor.

These were the responses I was getting from a staff member who was asked to make sure that a pile of documents was scanned into patients’ charts every day.

Sound familiar?

I too tired. I can’t put on any pants because they are all blue. I can’t go to sleep until I have all of my stuffed animals with me.

These were the responses I came home to. They are interestingly similar, aren’t they?

Leading people is leading people. Whether adults or children or somewhere in between, we all share the same human nature. There are things we just don’t want to do. When asked why we can’t do it, we make excuses.

Leaders don’t solve problems. Leaders help others solve their own problems. This goes for parenting, managing, directing or coaching. We all have aspects of our lives where we are leaders. We have all been faced with someone giving us excuses. As leaders we need to set our eyes on the real goal - we want our people to be better. We want our kids to be able to solve their own problems. We want our employees to be the best version of themselves. To do that, we have to help our people overcome their own challenges.

In the book Crucial Conversations, experts Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler provide a game plan for how to address Endless Excuses:

It’s easy to be lulled into a series of never-ending excuses - particularly if the other person doesn’t want to do what you’ve asked and learns that as long as he or she can give you a plausible reason, all bets are off.

With “imaginative” people, take a preemptive strike against all new excuses. Gain a commitment to solve the overall problem, not simply the stated cause. For instance, the first time the person is late, seek a commitment to fix the alarm - and anything else that might stand in the way. Repairing he alarm only deals with one potential cause. Ask the person to deal with the problem - being late.

The key for me in these situations is to take a moment and remind myself of my objective. What is it I really need or want from the person I’m leading? I hope they have a functioning clock, or the right colored pants, or all the stuffed animals need - but, truthfully, I’m really concerned about them arriving on time, being dressed, and going to sleep.

As compassionate problem solvers, we can get sucked into solving problems that our people should be solving on their own. We have to work to get commitments from them to agree to meet the objective. Here’s the example conversation Patterson et al. provide:

“So you think that if you get a new alarm, you’ll be able to make it to school on time? That’s fine with me. Do whatever it takes to get there on time. Can I count on you being there tomorrow at eight o’clock sharp?”

Just like this example, the Clinic Administrator and I had to graciously listen to our employee and remind her that our goal was to get her job responsibilities done. We asked her what she was going to do differently today and we set a follow up date to debrief and see if we had improved. One last thought from the Crucial Conversations team:

Remember, as the excuses accumulate, don’t talk about the most recent excuse; talk about the pattern.